Saturday, August 25, 2007
I have had negative people around me most of my life. As far back as I can remember,my father was probably the worst one along with my older cousins and friends. I seemed to have been picked on,no matter how I tried to fit in. This was a common practice ever since I was in grade school. Being around these people who tormented and teased me,created a world where I grew accustomed to it. I always put my head down when something positive came my way. I didn't know how to react to it. I always kept to myself. I was pretty much like that when my teenage years came as well. I started to drink and do drugs which greatly clouded my mind and especially my artistic abilities. I chose the wrong path,a path in which it made me seriously dysfunctional and helpless. I did not see the great potential I had with art. I was always high on drugs,I made no sense to others and especially to myself.I was called demeaning names,was constantly picked on, made into a slave and in turn knocked my morale down into the gutter. I pretended it did not emotionally hurt me but it really did hurt me. These were my own relatives and friends who did such things to me. It saddens me looking back and thinking of this awful time in my life. But now I choose not to be angry at these people. I choose not to hold such resentment towards them. If I do, I will become one of them and my spirit will become sick. This is something I don't or want in my life. I choose to be a good spirited and positive person. I am now starting to stand up for myself against negative people. I was once a part of their lives because I was too nice of a guy to verbaly defend myself. Now that I've changed with growth and understanding,I don't want them to be a part of my life anymore. I have put up with it most of my life and I refuse to put up with it anymore. Negative people are no good for anyone to be around. I want to be happy,positive and I want to succeed in life. We all deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.