Friday, May 25, 2007

Late Bloomer

Since 2001, I find myself maturing into an adult at the late age of 27 years. I felt like a lost child six years ago when I checked myself into a treatment facility. Not knowing what an adult should be or do? I was a very immature young man. If nothing went my way, I pouted like a little boy. When confronted with a problem I simply ran away from my problems. That was my way of dealing with such problems. Never confronting. Avoiding was such an easier solution. My past addiction to alcohol and drugs were more likely clouding my young mind and slowing my process of being a promising, productive, mature adult in life.

My father was somewhat there but it wasn't enough. The main issue with my father was his negativity towards me and life in general. It was his words that really made a bad impact on me. I always believed I wasn't good enough to be anyone or be anybody. My father probably meant well on his end, but it really knocked my moral down into the gutter. No matter how good I did in life, there was always something negative coming from him and I always believed him. All I wanted from my father was to be positive, no matter what! I wanted his encouragement, love, support and especially to show me how to be a man. He never showed his love for me but I knew he loved me.

Later in life I learned how to be a man. I have learned how to be good person to myself and to others. I learned how to love myself with respect and am truly able to love others. I'm positive to people no matter how bad it is for them. I seem to be doing the opposite of how my father was.

I just want to continue to be the best that I can be in life. I am now 33 years old, sober, and a man.